Joy and Fear

One of my best friends, Nina, was in town for the night last night. She recently moved to London and I wish she was closer. Nina is a great blogger. She writes funny, insightful stories and gave me some blogging tips. So I am going to try to get more emotional (hard for me, I know) and share more about the emotional side of my pregnancy. Here goes...

Contained excitement is probably the best way to describe my day-to-day emotions. I am not sure if this is from all the years of disappointment trying to get pregnant that I am not able to let myself really freak out or if that is just my personality. Grandma asks me with every big appointment "Did you cry?" and I really have not. Maybe I shed enough tears with the bad news that I feel like it is finally time to dry up and enjoy this amazing blessing.

But if you get me talking, you will probably get annoyed - I love being pregnant. I feel so lucky that I have felt well and have a healthy little boy growing inside of me. Every week I get email statuses telling you what to expect: 22 weeks will bring stretch marks, exhaustion, leg cramps, back aches. Yuck! So I read the emails every week and it seems that all the good stuff happens (baby moving more, belly growing) and none of the bad. I love the way my baby bump looks and enjoy showing it off with new maternity clothes. I love my thicker (yes, even thicker than normal hair) and nail and the 'glow.' I love the way Matt looks at me like I am getting cuter every day and when we spoon in bed and he notices how much I grow every day.

I am very much a person that stays in the moment when the moments are happy. People have started asking me about labor and fears about bringing the baby home or raising him. I have not really thought too much about that except in 1 area: breast feeding.

Breastfeeding: I am not sure if our parents are telling the truth, have forgotten, or maybe it was just not a topic for conversation with their friends, but apparently ALL mothers back then breastfed with no problems. UGH! If that was truly the case then we are one messed up generation. Not only do people in my age group have much more trouble getting pregnant...it is very common to have trouble breastfeeding. I have seen first hand how hard my friends try and how heartbroken they are when it does not work. But probably half of the moms I know were not able to successfully breastfeed after the first few weeks. So this is my one and only fear right now. I know that this is what is best for the baby and will sacrifice to make it happen. So we will attend a breastfeeding class in December and I will make sure to have a lactation specialist on hand if I need. But even with that, I am worried that for whatever reason it will not work out.

20 week ultrasound pics

It's a Boy!!!

We found out on Tuesday September 20th that we are having a son. The appointment was so much fun. We got to see both hands with 10 fingers, both feet with 10 toes, limbs, head, profile, umbilical cord, all chambers of his heart. Then at the very end we saw that our first child will be a boy. We are thrilled beyond belief. Both of our families are so female-dominated that it will be a very new and unique experience to have a boy in the house. My sisters and I always wanted an older brother and my children will have one. My dad finally get a boy. This kid is going to be spoiled by his 5 aunts (my 3 sisters and Matt's 2 sisters) and everyone is so excited.

19 Week Update - belly pics and crib!

For comparison: pic on the left at 5 weeks; pic on the right at 18 weeks

Matt did his first fatherly duty and put the crib together. Of course, Marley was there to help the whole time. His parents bought us the mattress last weekend and Matt popped Gracie in there like a baby. It was too cute and I could not get the camera quick enough. The dogs love the nursery and that is our new hang out place.

Allison was in town 2 weekends ago she and Heather helped me to update the registry. We are registering at Babies R Us and Pottery Barn Kids. We have added pretty much everything we need except the gender-specific things. So those will come later. Man, kids need a lot of stuff.

Matt's parents visited last weekend and we had a great time doing a little shopping and hiking at Amicalola Falls. It was really pretty and the weather is finally getting cooler.

Other than that, everything is just super. I am officially wearing pretty much all maternity clothes and have told Matt to NOT LET ME SHOP anymore. I have gone a little overboard buying a lot of stuff. But if I am going to be preggers I might as well show of my cute belly.

I feel like I am into the 2nd trimester time when you get back to regular energy level. I am boot-camping 3-4 times a week plus running after bootcamp and on my own. The weather at night and in the morning is just too nice to sit inside. I am able to stay up until after Matt gets home from class. I am more hungry recently, but with the way this kid is growing I am not suprised.

We have our next appt on Sep 20 and will see the baby and find out the gender. I can't wait!